Finally, we have visited the same church two weeks in a row! Since we left VA on July first, we have visited a different church each week. And that has been a difficult adventure with B.
First Sunday: teeny, tiny town in Illinois, visiting G’s aunt. We attended the church she and G’s dad grew up in, and she still attends. Initially, it seemed B would be fine. We all sat together on a back pew with kid’s bulletin and crayons in hand. B seemed excited about worship. Then, G made the mistake of pointing out the pipe organ, thinking it would be interesting to B. Instead, he freaked out. I suppose all those huge pipes looked ominous and scary. Although we kept trying – in and out, many times – ultimately we had to leave. B just could not get it together after that.
Second Sunday: Our new old church in St. Louis (new building and new minister, many familiar faces). B resisted going to the children’s class, so we tried keeping him with us. He made it through most of the music, then wanted a snack. Of course, no food in the sanctuary, and besides, ummm, snack? Oh, we didn’t bring any. Ooops! Can you say meltdown??? I spent the rest of the time calming B down – G stayed in the service. Oh, a kind passerby did scare up a snack for us. Thank you!
Third Sunday: My folks church in NM. Ahhh. Some familiarity (that’s a big deal when you’re 3). We had visited here before when visiting my folks, as recently as April. So B seemed to feel more comfortable. But, after the previous two Sundays, I decided to take him right to the children’s class for the whole service. B was happy with that decision, too, and had a good time. I actually got to worship and listen to the sermon, this time.
Fourth Sunday: We’ve just moved to our home on post, so we went to the nearest chapel (so near we can see it from our back porch). Ugh! It’s still summer with lower attendance and no children’s classes. As hard as we’ve tried, B still just cannot sit through a worship service very well. He did all right. We made it through the service. But, boy was he wiggly and had a very hard time being quiet. Afterwards, he and G went to a playground nearby and I attended a VBS meeting (Vacation Bible School), and wound up volunteering to help out. Actually, that turned out to be a good experience. This chapel has a great committed group of folks. I had a good time helping the kids with crafts. Unfortunately, because B is not yet 4, he would have to go to the little nursery, which is set up for babies and very young toddlers. That doesn’t seem like it would work well for B. So, we have decided not to worship there regularly.
Fifth Sunday: we visited a church recommended by a soldier we know who just completed class 56 at the academy (G is beginning class 57). This was a rather traditional African American church with a very friendly group of folks. Everyone was very kind and welcoming. We enjoyed Sunday school and the music portion of the worship service. We also enjoyed the sermon and found it inspiring to see a man in his 80’s preach with such energy. However, it was not a teaching sermon; he did not expound on the word, just narrated several stories form the Bible. Also, B went to the nursery for the whole service, which was a small room with a few toys. As far as I could tell, they just played.
Fifth and Sixth Sunday: we visited a Sovereign Grace church. This is a denomination we had not heard of; it was recommended by a neighbor. It turns out their philosophy of children’s and youth ministry is very much like our church in VA – very family oriented. We didn’t think we would find that again. They are very solid theologically and hold a high view of scripture. These things are very important to us. So, we think we will stay. We are only here for 10 months, so don’t want to spend allot of time searching.
This was a hard decision, though. The church we are settling on does not have the diversity that we would like. It’s not completely absent, but rather small compared to the chapel and the AA church. We really had to weigh the importance of racial diversity against strong Biblical teaching. It was a tough call. For now, the latter won out. A couple of reasons: 1. as I mentioned, we are here a short time, and 2. We are still laying the foundation of faith for B. He is still learning the Bible stories, and hopefully, during this year, he will gain a strong foundation of knowledge as we go through it from Creation to Jesus, and beyond.
Being in the military community provides some diversity, as well. I am hoping to establish some relationships in our neighborhood with various folks I have seen around. I do take this responsibility very seriously and keep it at the forefront of my mind. Simply living in a diverse community is not enough. I believe it is important to establish relationships on a deeper level with strong families in the African American community. In spite of this deep conviction, this has not been easy. I only managed one friend in VA. I am not a super outgoing extrovert, so this is a challenge for me.
Well, B is up now and this post is getting long. So look for future pondering on this subject. For further reading on the subject, check out this article on The Harlow’s Monkey Adoption Gazette. It’s certainly worth thinking about.
Many blessings with your new congregation. We, too, have faced similar dilemmmas with our 3-year-old… to the point where right now, Mommy does Sunday school at home each week!
I’ll remember you in my prayers!
I empathize with you as you choose a church for your family, and I can see that you recognize how important such a decision is.
Ah, small children in church. I reared four there, and must agree that at times it was a challenge. My three older ones were comfortable with Sunday school and nursery activities when they were small. Andrew, my youngest, was shy, and howled when I tried to leave him in the nursery. It took a few years of working with him before he was comfortable to stay. Now, he is so outgoing, most people are startled to hear that he was at one time shy. I can still see it in him, though in certain areas.
For years, I was the organist in our church, and would line up my children on the front row–when it was not a Sunday morning–and when they must sit through a regular service. It was quite a challenge to discipline them long distance. They knew to respect my disapproving glare, though, and did rather well. 🙂
I loved reading of B’s peeing on the sidewalk. There is nothing quite like a little boy and his natural ways.
I continue to wish you well.
Shirley
🙂 I’m so glad that this looks like a fit for you! I’ve recently spent time on the SG site downloading some of their stuff on “empowering of the Spirit” as we move more deeply into receiving all that the Lord wants to pour out on us. We miss you a ton!!!!
Much love,
Cindy
[…] Here are some books to read on the subject introduced towards the end of my previous post: […]
Just found your blog thru the Tag Surfer at WordPress. Want to say hi and I will be back. I recently moved with a three year old and have struggled with the church “hunt” too. Good to know I am not alone. I will be pass your blog to a friend as she is an aboptive parent and interested in other parents thoughts. So cool you have addressing the transracial questions.
[…] Well, since I introduced this subject while talking about our worship decisions, I’ll go ahead and discuss it further. Let me first point out that this is not something we sought out for our family. We wrestled with ourselves and each other, and our counselors over how to answer the questions on the forms that related to this issue. Ultimately it did not seem right to lay out any parameters of what we were willing to accept in adopting a child. It felt as if we were saying, “This is what we’re looking for in a baby” as if we were shopping for a new car or something. So, we decided to leave it open and see what happened, knowing we could call on the strength of our Creator in all things (Philippians 4:13, Romans 8:28) […]