In my blog stats I can see what search terms people used to find my blog:
Today
|
Search |
Views |
| god doesn't want adoption | 2 |
| mom at 38 | 1 |
| potty training required preschool | 1 |
| potty training | 1 |
| scriptures listed out for struggles | 1 |
That top one got me thinking (and everyone groans). I don't think that's true. So I did a quick scripture search on Biblegateway.com:
- First, there's Moses – Exodus 2:1-8
- I also thought of Samuel – 1 Samuel 2:1-11 Hannah was barren and prayed fervently to God for a child "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." 1 Samuel 1:11. Once he was weaned, he lived with Eli, the priest and "ministered before the Lord."
- And who could forget beautiful Esther.
- Even the new testament frames our salvation, or acceptance into God's kingdom through Jesus' sacrifice, in terms of adoption: Romans 8:22-24, Romans 9:3-5, and Ephesians 1:4-6.
Just as, in this post, I begin to question our use of "God's will" related to life events such as adoption, I don't believe it would be correct to go to the other extreme and say that God does not want adoption to happen at all, ever. I think the issue, or the problem, is not with God. The problem is our fallen understandings and our fallen practices of adoption. "Oh no, there she goes again with that 'fallen' stuff," you may be saying. Well, I make no apologies for my Christian view of the world. Because of this fallen state, even the best of our intentions, our purest motives, are corrupt (Isaiah 64:6).
I started to list out some examples of this, but I think we're all familiar with human nature, regardless of whether we believe the Bible or are a person of faith. So, it comes down to sin. Sin in each of our lives that hurts ourselves and hurts others. So, adoption itself, is a concept that God used in scripture. But here, on planet earth, I don't think it often looks the way God would like it to look, or happens the way He would like. Check out this post on Paragraphein for some thoughts on how, although adoption may be a good option, it may not necessarily be the best in every situation.
Now, I'm not questioning God's sovereignty here. I just believe He gives us freedom in living our lives – making choices. After all, He didn't stop Sarah and Abraham from making and acting on a decision that later caused much pain (Genesis 16). Yet, in spite of that Abraham is included in the "Hall of Faith" in Hebrews 11. Hooray for the grace of God!
The dilema, then, is in what to do about that. Again, more thinking and no answers. Like anything, adoption will never be perfect. But we can keep talking about it with each other – those involved personally or professionally – while realizing that we are prone to error, and perhaps make it better.
On that note, thanks KimKim for your kind words on your blog! I hope that this post here will be taken as intended, without offense. I realize that many that come by to read may not share my worldview and therefore not quite understand. Hopefully understanding can be found in the dialogue. If you're interested in gaining a better understing of adoption, you'll find other blogs linked from KimKim and Paragraphein. Do check them out.
hey. good post. found you from my buddy kims blog. while i am so not a religious person, i like this post. i agree.
I didn’t realize there was any discussion on whether God was for or against adoption. Adoption is a theme or word picture in the Bible that shows us clearly that God wants us to follow him, not for esoteric reasons or blind obedience to some higher power on a head-trip, but as adopted sons and daughters. There was only one true son of God. The rest of us can only join the family through adoption.
Hi Suz, nice to meet you. I'm glad you came by.
Well, hey Berk! Welcome to my blog.
Yes, there's quite a discussion going on around various blogs and groups. On one group I found myself quite unwelcome in as a Christian adoptive mom I took note of extreme offense taken to folks saying adoption was God's will or God's plan - that pretty much got me thinking. You are correct in what you say. But what I have learned is that some folks misuse terms like "God's will" in reference to adoption for coercion – subtle though it may be. Anywhere people are involved, it seems, there is potential for this type of manipulation, or what have you.
Berk is right. That’s just what I was getting ready to say. We are adopted sons and daughters of the King of Kings. We are joint heirs with Jesus our brother.
I see what you’re saying though. I believe God has in mind many different options for having a family as there are individuals. I haven’t much looked into adoption yet because of the cost… but also because my husband and I feel that right now is not God’s timing for us to look into it. Perhaps a later date WILL BE the time, but in 13 years, He hasn’t laid it on our hearts to persue adoption wholeheartedly.
I’m going to have to check out more of your site. Thanks for the comment today. It’s God and not me, is all I can say.
**hugs**
A very good post! I enjoyed reading it.
Hey… as a side note. As Christians we are all adopted into Gods family. I love my family!!!
Great post Melissa.
V
My last bullet point was that we are adopted into God’s kingdom, heirs with Christ. But apparently I didn’t make it well as several have stated it in their comments much better than I. Thanks y’all for clarifying my ramblings.
Melissa
Moses did return to his family though, let’s not forget that. It’s not so much what is in the Bible that bothers me, it’s all that coercive advertising. If we were to believe that way of thinking then Jesus really should have been removed from Mary and placed in a wealthier home.
And it was rather dire circumstances for Moses' family – quite literally necessary to save his life. I find it incredibly ironic that the Pharaoh that was trying to keep the Israelites at bay by having the male infants killed (Exodus 8:1-22) wound up becoming "grandfather" to the very one God would use to free His people. (-:
I don’t know why but I’ve always been drawn to the story of Moses. Still I don’t think that adoption and God are really linked any more than I think rape and murder are God’s plan. How far are we going to go with this? Was it God’s plan that I lost my daughter or did I just have a crap family? I think it might have been God’s plan that she was born, I never think of her as being unwanted or not meant to be here. I don’t bother with those meant to be things, I just end up twisting them to suit my own ideas.
I don’t recognize the Bible as the only source of teaching and morality but there are some beautiful stories in there and a lot to be inspired by.
Whoops! No, I wasn’t trying to say adoption was God’s plan. It is something He used in the Bible for His specific purposes at given times – mostly related to His dealings with Israel – but don’t think it’s necessarily His plan for any given individual in today’s world. Sorry about that. I was rather exploring what the Bible says about the subject and considering that, on the other hand, it’s also not a “Thou Shalt Not.” I DO believe that every person has a purpose and no person being born is an accident. AND, I think B’s purpose could just as easily be lived out whether he grew up with J or with us. More for me to think about. But now I’d better get back to dinner on the stove.
Thanks for your reply.
There are so many ways to justify one’s own choices, however, I cannot attribute losing my son as “God’s Will”. We have some free will and must be responsible for the choices we make, and not blame everything bad on God. We have some control over our lives.
Some birth mothers need to absolve themselves of any responsibility in the matter, and do so by saying that it was “God’s will”. I lost my son to adoption because I allowed it to happen. For me to believe that I was never “supposed” to be my son’s mom is something I can never accept. Sometimes tragic events just happen. I cannot believe that God is intentionally cruel cruel though.
I am glad that you are educating yourself about adoption, and happy to see that some moms took the time to help you along the way a bit.
Thank you Cookie.
We have 2 adopted little ones from social services, and they are both special needs. Although they needed a family, social services did not prepare us for this life we now have. These children need plenty of patience, attention and love, and they need God in their lives. Forget the bible – I see the affects of God every week after mass. God’s will? Maybe! Personally, I do believe God wanted us to have these children! For their sake, and for our’s! So what’s my point? Don’t totally rely on God, the teachings in the bible, or even the blogs you are reading. These are all great references. There are other factors to consider before adopting. “God’s will” should not be the driving force for your decisions. Check out honestsocialworkers.dontexist.net It is a site that is in very early stages of development. It doesn’t address God and the teachings we grew up with, but it does start to address a fundemental problem with the government’s system. The problems also relate to the private system in many ways. The site may become a great reference with a lot more work. I hope the author(s) don’t give up! Remember, that site like the one you are accessing now, and yes like the bible too, are all references. God also gave you a brain. Make decisions wisely and gather all the information you can. I can tell you almost anything about FASD with all of the data we’ve gathered, but we still must search for more. We must continue to learn. There is another gift God gave you: In adoption you have the power to research and investigate making a good solid desicion. Natural births you get what you get! (Not that that is bad in any way!) Make wise decisions that will benifit all, especially the kids! Thanks for letting me ramble.