I was not planning to blog today, but here I am. I just answered an email from a friend inquiring about our plans for a second child and it occurred to me that infertility is still complicating my life.
Yes I am now a mom – God brought our beautiful son to us through adoption. He turned 3 back in February and we so much want him to have siblings. Well, after 16+ years of marriage with no conception, it's not real likely to happen biologically. In about 2 months we are moving – and will only be at our new location about a year – then another move to who knows where [husband in military 
]. So as far as I can tell, unless God does something miraculous, adoption proceedings will have to be put off a year or more.
It occurred to me while I was answering my friend's email that if we could go about this in the conventional manner, these impending changes in our location would not matter, and I got angry all over again. I haven't really struggled with those "infertility feelings" for over 3 years now. I have been so focused on being the best mom I could be that I'd forgotten that I am still infertile and having more children would still be a struggle.
I know that God's timing is perfect, His ways are higher than my ways, He's already done amazing work in our family and will continue to do so . . . But for the moment am feeling a little ticked that we can't just decide "Let's have another child," get pregnant, and 9 months later have a new little person in our family. At times it really bugs me that it's so easy for most folks. Infertility really complicates the process -whether you choose medical treatment or adoption to try for a child, it's complicated. And I'm not getting any younger – turning 37 next month.
OK, that's enough whining. I just thought I'd throw those feelings out there for anyone who's there now, or has "been there, done that." I'd love to hear from you. We're here to encourage each other. I hope this will help someone else as they realize they are not alone.
Now here's a verse to remind me/us Who's in control.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
No comments, really. Just a hug.
Thank you, Susan.
Melissa
After two losses we had our son when I was 43 (I used some progesterone supplementation) — now years later, his puberty and my menopause hit simultaneously (I’ve had to borrow his acne medication — is there a smiley icon with zits?) You will simply know in your heart when it is time to keep trying or time to quit. Thanks for visiting my blog. Hugs to you.
God certainly is in control of everything, and His ways are perfect even if we can’t understand why He does things the way He does. We have been blessed with two little girls, and have wanted more right from the start, but no more have come yet. I know His timing is perfect though, and if there are no more in my future, I can be assured that it was His plan which are not always my plan.
I think it’s great that you adopted. I have always been interested in adoption, but I’m not sure if we will ever do it ourselves. We’ll see I suppose.
Sorry that you are moving from this beautiful area. Where will you be moving to? We are not a military family, but have moved quite a bit. We will actually be making a temporary move this summer for an internship, and then coming back until next Spring, and then who knows where the Lord will take us. Once again– He is in control… and that’s a very good thing! (o:
I second everything that ibiog said, interesting thing though, my brother and his wife are in the process of adopting from Africa. I will be following your blog so I can gain an insight about the adoption side of things.
They to are Christians and have amazing faith.
Thanks for visiting and blogrolling my blog, I have done the same for you.
V
Thank you so much for sharing your faith and your story – as well as your struggles – I have faced infertility for 6 years and it does not seem to get easier. I hope you find perfect peace as you await your next step! Peace – Ellen
I can deeply understand your frustration at God’s plan for your family’s growth. Folks who can conceive sometimes don’t understand. I am thankful that God is completely in control and Sovereign, and He knows when and where your next child will come from. There is such a thing as an Inter-State Compact, which enables you to adopt from another state, so if you know God is leading you to adopt, you can do the homestudy here, and finish the rest elsewhere (Tx, or the next place). We were going to get a baby boy from Texas when we lived in Mass, so I know folks do this all the time. I will pray that God would clearly show you His timing, Melissa. Love to you. Holly
Correction – I’m turning 38 today, NOT 37. Geeesh! Can’t even remember how old I am.
Melissa